Clearance potions

Once in the next year (at DM's discretion) when you use a metaphor or idiom it literally happens

For the next week you compulsively advertise random products in the middle of sentences

You gain advantage on all charisma checks made when you are not speaking for the next week

Your attacks deal an extra 1d8 lightning damage, and those who roll a lower initiative than you can be attacked with advantage. The effect ends after you critically hit. If the drinker critically misses they take 1d8 lightning damage

The thick yellow potion twists and moves of its own accord. The fluid inside will actively try to avoid being drunk, clinging to the inside of the bottle. It's actually a Tiny Ochre Jelly.

The potion is blood-red with fleshy chunks in it, as through a brain has been put through a blender. Drinking it telegraphs the player's mood and thoughts to all characters within 30ft for one hour, as if under the Detect Thoughts spell.

Your hair turns a random color

The drinker turns a deep green and can photosynthesize, but must consume dirt and/or fertilizer to do so

The potion is empty, someone has painted over the glass with bright blue paint and promptly treated with a Major Illusion spell. Who would waste a spell on something so trivial? Who knows? Not you!

It's so bitter that it makes you projectile vomit profusely for Roll 1d4 hours. Disadvantage on stealth checks because of all the sound and tracking checks against you have advantage. Can be weaponized, treat as Acid Splash, Roll 2d6 acid damage.

Potion of Equilibrium: For the next Roll 1d4 hours, one random ability score is increased by 6 (no maximum), and one different random ability score is decreased by 6 (no minimum).

Potion of Healing (Spoiled): Gain 2d4+4 hit points and gain a randomly chosen condition for Roll 1d4 hours: either poisoned, blinded, or deafened.

Potion of Sentient Clothing.

Your body slowly starts to become transparent, and you eventually become completely invisible. Lasts until you get hit.

You get flight movement equal to your walking movement, until you get 100ft high.

This potion tastes like grape juice. The next time you critically hit you do triple damage

Gommi Forrest Syrup: A thick, glowing, cyan potion. Tastes like blueberries and honey. Upon drinking, all bodily fluids glow a bright blue, causing them to emit a feint glow for 2d6 days. This glow becomes stronger when bleeding.

Alchemist's Cheese: a yellow-white potion so thick it must be heated to be viscous enough to flow. Tastes like normal cheese. Upon consumption, the drinker will vomit various dairy products throughout the day, including milk, cheese, ice cream, and yogurt. The product is from whatever animal was used to make the potion, and is completely edible.

The potion resembles bubble tea containing Roll 1d10 small tapioca balls. If you chew on the tapioca balls, they turn into little snails or frogs in your mouth

Whoever drinks this potion experiences a very vivid daydream from his childhood that leaves him shaken for Roll 1d3 hours.

It swaps your gender.

The drinker is teleported back to the location they found the potion.

The drinker becomes extremely physically attractive for Roll 1d4 hours.

It's a Rage Potion! This potion gives you Rage just like a Barbarian. The bottle contains enough liquid for two drinks.

The vial contains water. Dyed water.

The potion has a strong tangy flavour and you feel it course through your body. When it gets to your feet, your shoes/boots melt off.

You can hear all animal thoughts for 1d8 days

You are instantly resurrected the next time you are killed

Your size shrinks by 1d4 feet for 1d4 hours.

You cannot tell a lie for 1d4 days

You can speak with plants for 1d4 hours.

Drinking this potion has allowed your consciousness to be noticed by a random deity! You have one chance to ask any yes or no question.

Your hair color changes depending on your mood.

Your AC increases by 1d4 for 1d4 hours.

You create a clone of yourself every time you sneeze that lasts for 1d4 minutes.

All the hair on your body falls off. It will then all grow back during a long rest. This may be painful

When you attend a party/event in the next month it begins to rain. Don't let it rain on your parade though

you skin becomes water repullsant for a week

You gain a 9th level spell slot but it is the only spell you can cast that day

For a month you can not enter a room without being invited in

You gain access to a random cantrip until the next exam

When you see someone cry you can restore 1d4 hp for the next year

everything tastes like chocolate

You turn into a random plant for 1d10 minutes

Whenever you talk about someone for the next week their ears burn slightly

you gain the effects of speak with plants and speak with pants. Any wooden furniture or books will scream in agony

You suddenly know how to play a new random instrument. (If players speak to Atari about this specific potion it will become an option to buy specifically that potion)

Your clothes become neon colored for 1d4 days. Stealth is rolled with disadvantage

Anytime you roll the same number twice in a row for the next year roll on the wild magic table

for 1d8 days you have terrible acne and your hair and skin are oily but you can cast grease centered on yourself once per combat

Whenever you sneeze everyone will look at you within eyeshot for 1d6 months

For 1 session all food speaks to you and they want to be eaten. kinky

For one day your character may break the fourth wall but may not meta game. Any knowledge they have learned of the real world disappears once they take a long rest

The next time revivify is cast on you the diamond is not used and this potion is used as the component material

Within the next ten minutes your body rapidly ages into old age, you die, your body decays in clothes and you fall into a pile of robes. A baby then crawls through these robes and ages quickly until reaching your current age before disappating. Your life litterally just flashed before your eyes.

For 1d4 days you have a runny nose and the sniffles. Disadvantage on stealth

For the rest of the day you may not use colors in any speech

Random npc's will go up to you and give you a gold or two assuming you are homeless until the next exam

You believe the world is flat until someone else also believes the world is flat

Anytime you laugh the nearest person will slap you for 1 damage

you must hug every person you speak to for a session

whenever you finish a drink you have to throw the container it was in and yell yeet. This lasts until the next exam

After the next long rest you take you find sand in every crevice. Thanks Mr. Sandman

You shed your skin like a snake over the next few days. Its unbearably itchy

One npc's voice changes to be the uwu voice until the player who drank the potion says uwu

You glow in the dark for 1d4 days

For 1d4 days you must answer every yes or no question with a yes

You must address everyone else with a curse (bitch, ass, dick, fucker, etc.) for the session

You must say nice anytime a number is said in or out of game as if it was the number 69. If 69 is said you must say nothing. This lasts for one session

for 1 session healing spells do damage and damage spells heal

You have an extremely vivid nightmare of your death. You won't know it was a dream until you wake the following morning

For you gullible is always written on the ceiling or sky above you for everyone else you are just kinda a dick

anytime you sing or hum animals will come to your location and clean it until it is spotless

Roll a d20. You can use this like a portent roll one time

you shock everyone you touch for the next week

your breath smells great but your stomach hurts. You drank toothpaste

You can no longer say your own name for one session

People think rubbing you head gives good luck until next exam

You get hiccups

you can not say a word that is decided on by the group for 1 session

for a day when you speak all people hear is falling pipes

your socks suddenly become soaking wet. Yes you are now wearing socks

you cant read but you can write

whenever you roll a nat 1 Reagan tells an animal fact

When people give you sad news confetti cannons go off around you

Roll a d4 determining 1- Fight, 2- Flight, 3- Freeze, 4- Fawn. The result literally happens meaning you fight someone, you suddenly begin flying, you become frozen in ice for a round, or you polymorph into a baby deer for a round

You become out of breath after climbing any number of stairs

you can climb up walls like spiderman but you must hum the spiderman theme

A rush of sparkles engulfs the entire party. First player to notice and point out that taylor swift karoke starts playing gets one free luck point

For 1 session you agree with Cadoras, high elfs are the superior race

You appear to be wearing lingerie. Your ac and equipment remain unchanged. Your weapons while still doing the same damage look like sex toys

For one roll you can change a nat 1 to be a nat 20 or a nat 20 to a nat 1

When travelling, a spectral servant follows you clapping two halves of a coconut together to imitate the noise of a horse

you get a d8 bardic inspiration from a god in the sky that looks like Reagan

The next npc you see is determined to give you a full meal

You and a random party member become magically binded for a day and given a bag of flour that cries like a baby. Welcome to parenthood for one day

Every piece of paper you touch gives you a paper cut

Your character voice must change for a day

This potion is a mimic, it bites your nose when you attempt to drink it. It has 10 hit points

You can roll on a random table of your choice including wild magic, wand of wonder, bag of beans, this potion chart, or other. Deck of many things is banned)